


Bad habit, I know (But I'm needing you right now)

by saramidumoulin



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Anxiety, Bad Days, M/M, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-11-09 02:02:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17992736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saramidumoulin/pseuds/saramidumoulin
Summary: He has a bad day, and nothing can help.Well, maybe not nothing.(Or I listened to Ben Platt's music and I couldn't stop myself)





	Bad habit, I know (But I'm needing you right now)

He had seen it coming for the best part of the day. There had been hints everywhere: When he woke up in the morning, feeling like a family of trucks had ran him over; when he noticed his third coffee still did nothing to help him wake up: when he tried to paint but couldn’t sit still for long enough to really produce anything.

It had been a while, so he guessed he was due. The last few weeks had actually been pretty good: he had a couple of new projects he was really looking forward to, he had found the time to hang out with his sister, he went to Courf’s party and managed to only drink two beers.

He should have known it was bound to happen.

He wasn’t really surprised. It was mostly inconvenient. He could feel his thought process slowly becoming less and less rational, and he couldn’t do anything to stop his brain from spiraling for one unlikely scenario to the other.

Well, that wasn’t actually true.

At times like these, not much could help. His brain wouldn’t shut up unless he was asleep, utterly wasted, or a mix of the two. But he was trying to cut back on alcohol, for his sake and his wallet’s, so drinking himself to sleep wasn’t an option.

That left him with only one valid option, the only other thing that could stop this whole thing.

He ran a hand through his hair, turned on his side and tried to force his body to sleep once again. It didn’t work. He sat up on his bed and reached for his phone, on the verge of dying, which was lying on his bed side table. He turned it around in his hands for a good five minutes, debating with himself.

It was pathetic. He would mock him and tell him it was stupid, tell him to stop wasting his precious time, tell him he had actual things to do. Things that were way more important than talking him out of his anxiety, than his stupid brain making up stuff, than _him_.

He stopped himself from following that particular train of thoughts. He was already feeling like shit, thinking about how the other man hated him wouldn’t help.

He opened his phone and dialed his number, his finger hovering over the ‘call’ button.

It was just his luck, really, that the only other thing that could calm him was the voice of the man he was helplessly pining after. He had discovered how soothing it was when he started having a panic attack in the middle of a meeting, only to find it going away as soon as the other man opened his mouth.

Pathetic, really.

He clicked the green button before he could stop himself, and almost hung up twice before the other man even had the chance to answer.

‘’Grantaire? What’s the matter?’’

‘’And good afternoon to you to.’’ He smirked and laid back on the bed. Four words, and yet he could already feel his body relax. ‘’I’ve been meaning to ask you: what are your thoughts on capitalism?’’

There was a deep sigh on the other end of the line. ‘’Grantaire, I’m busy, and you know how I feel about it, why do you ask?’’

‘’Well, I haven’t heard you talk against it for a while. Does it mean it’s okay now? I’m glad, I always thought it wasn’t that bad.’’

‘’Please don’t. I’ve had a long day and I’m tired. I don’t want to pick a fight right now, so if you called to argue, leave me alo–‘’

‘’No!’’ He sat up so fast he felt dizzy for a moment. ‘’Please. Just… I’m sorry, just… Please don’t hang up.’’

Silence, filled by a few noises that sounded like someone putting down a cup.

‘’Are you okay?’’

He didn’t answer.

‘’What can I do to help? R, talk to me.’’

He took a deep breath before answering.

‘’I’ve been having a bad day. Like mental health wise. And, I don’t know, your voice kind of… calms me down I guess? And I thought that, uh, maybe, if you had the time, you could just, ramble on about something, and that it would help? But you don’t have to, and you’re obviously not in the mood, and you surely have better things to do, I shouldn’t have called, sorry I interrupted whatever you were doing, I’ll just – ‘’

‘’R.’’ He stopped talking instantly, a little breathless. ‘’I don’t want to argue.’’

‘’As I was saying, it’s fine, I – ‘’

‘’But, ‘’ He could hear the smile in the other man’s voice. ‘’ I have a book I’ve been meaning to read. I could read it out loud if you want.’’

He took a deep breath, stunned into silence, and hoped his voice wouldn’t betray him when he spoke. ‘’That’d be great, yeah. I’d like that.’’

‘’Good. Give me a second.’’

He heard the man get up to presumably grab the book, before sitting back on what sounded like his bed.

‘’Okay, I’m ready. You’re good?’’

‘’Yeah.’’ He closed his eyes and leaned back. He spoke before he could stop himself.

‘’Enj?’’

‘’Yes?’’

‘’Thanks. You don’t know how much help this is.’’

Enjolras didn’t answer, but he could almost hear him smile. He heard him open the book, and he started reading softly. His voice, usually filled with passion and anger, was now soothing and low.

‘’ _So long as there shall exist, by virtue of law and custom,_ ’’

He smirked and wrapped himself in a blanket.

Maybe his brain would shut up after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, that's the first line of Les Mis, sue me.  
> This will probably end up being a series, cause Ben's songs are the shit.  
> Seriously, if you haven't listened to them yet, go do that now!


End file.
